Just Another Bend In Journey of Life
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Whoooo hoooo Summer's here!You know, at this time last year my ass was on the lake already. In fact we were out there before Mother's Day! I cannot wait to get back out there this year! I left work yesterday and it was 20* hotter on one side of the bay compared to the other. Now, for those of you that are new here, I like on Lake Superior at the base of the Keweenaw Peninsula so we have this HUGE lake to play around in and we're also on the bay which makes it nice too. Anyway, yep, left work at it was about 78, get home and it's freaking 58. WTF!? Today it's really nice out. Nice this morning then we had a small down pour, literally just as I walked in the door from picking up lunch. Just in time!!!!! :) Whew! Anyway, only 29 more minutes of work left and then I can go home and sit my ass in the sun and act like the Sun Goddess that I am!!! So help me God if the wind turns by then!!!
I finally decided to talk to BT last night. Monday night he'd come over and said that he would be there for dinner so I went to the store and got stuff to make spaghetti, garlic bread, salad and even strawberry shortcake. Well he had to run back to his apt and take his work clothes out of the dryer and then he'd be up. I'd just gotten back from the store so it was no big deal. Called again and said that he was leaving his parents and had to give a friend a ride to his house and then he'd be up and wanted to know if dinner was done. Nope, I'd just started so again, no big deal. Called AGAIN at 738p and said he was going to pick up Chris and go unload all of the shit in the back of his truck and would be back shortly and wanted to know if dinner was done. No, but very close. Ok, that was 738p. I got S ready and fed her and decided screw it so I ate and then I put all the shit away in the fridge. Yes, the bitch in me came out. Finally around 930p he decides to stroll in!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Now, where they were going to drop the stuff off would have taken 45 min tops. But 2 fucking hours!? I don't think so! Then he had enough nerve to ask if I was upset?! HELLO!? Am I not out on the porch chain smoking here?! Can you not see me? Am I a figment of your imagination or what?! AUGH! Men are so fucking stupid!!! Needless to say, I made him feel like shit and rightfully so. I mean, S and I, we don't need much to make us happy. She only eats plain spaghetti w/ butter and parm cheese anyway. I didn't need to make the rest. What a fucking waste of my time and energy!!! So basically I laid into him and said that I "thought" when he said he'd be back for dinner he was ACTUALLY going to make it back for dinner and not at 930pm!!! I mean come on!!! He plays softball on Tues and Thurs and goes to camp w/ the guys in his family every Wed to play pool and darts etc, am I not entitled to one night? I told him he better figure out where I fit in his life because *THIS* is so not what I want. I'm not going to feel insignificant and like I don't matter and the nice things that I try doing for him don't matter. Fuck that! I'm sure there is someone out there that is willing to come over for dinner and spend time with me. I got the "I love you" and "you matter so much to me" etc... That night and again last night. Now, I don't doubt those things but I will NOT take a back seat to stupid shit like I did on Monday becuase he gets sidetracked. I think I made my point clear. Well, last night after his game he comes in and tells me that he's going to change. UGH! I HATE when people say they're going to change. If you cannot love them for who they are then I feel that you have no business being together. I don't want to change for anyone and I don't want anyone to change for me. Now, I do understand that we've both been single for a long time. Two years for both of us or somewhere around there. It does take time to get used to people but change!? God I hate that! I guess I'll stick it out and see what happens. You know, we've never even been on a date together?! Yes, it's fucked up, I know. I've brought it to his attention already too. Oh, at least he did call while I was at work and asked me if I wanted to go to his game in Mass City. Well, thanks but I have a little girl and I'm not getting home w/ her at 10-11pm. Sorry, I'm a mom first and will always be a mom first.
On to American Idol.... I'm stumped. I dont' know who I want to win. I LOOOOOVE Taylor. He is so much fun to watch and just doesn't give a shit. I mean, he could care less if he's got the salt and pepper going on. And Katherine, well she's got a great voice and she's hot. Here's where I get stuck. I don't know if I can see myself buying a Taylor album but I can see myself purchasing a Katherine. (OMG! Did I just say album?! Wow am I dating myself!!!) However, I can't remember Katherine from the "try outs" but I remember Taylor from the time he walked in the door. I remember hearing his voice and thinking Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder and how freaking original he was. On the other hand, I'd choose a Taylor concert over a Katherine concert. HE would put on an AMAZING show in my opinion. He is just so fun and full of energy!!! It's never ending. He doesn't care if people make fun of his clothes or the way he dances. He is who he is. Ok, well after writing this, I guess I'd like to see Taylor win 'cause he deserves it. Although I can see Katherine making her way up the charts faster... Don't know. What do you think???
Alright, I now have only 9 min till I can go home so I have to start cleaning my shit up so I can get the hell out of here! Hope you all have a great night!
Ta ta bitches~!
