Just Another Bend In Journey of Life
Sunday, February 26, 2006
I'm alive!!!Hey guys, Just thought I'd check in and say hello. I'm 3/4 done moving and putting things away. Still have some things to get over at the apartment and am hoping to get that done this week sometime. Now I REALLY remember how much I hate moving! We stayed at the new house on Friday night and have been here ever since. S is in love w/ the new place. I started painting the living room... Wow! It's a little brighter than I anticipated but WTF? I'm gonna do the whole thing and if I don't like it I'll figure something out. It's growing on me. I'll have to post some pics later in the week as to what I've accomplished thus far. This place was an absolute pig sty and we had to go some major heavy duty cleaning, not to mention that he left a TON of shit in here! That pissed me off. I have enough of my own moving to do, like I really want to deal w/ his shit too!? JC!!!! Closing tomorrow at 3p. I'll be so glad when it's all done. Anyway, I can't keep my eyeballs open and I have to get up and work in the morning. Hopefully the school bus stops to get her! I did let them know where we were moving to so I'm hoping all goes well there! I guess we'll find out tomorrow! ttfn!
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Happy DaysOk guys, I'm done being pissy. Things are starting to look up a bit. I think I took a turn on Sunday for some reason... I got a lot of packing and cleaning done this weekend which was great. S went to her cousins for the night on Sat. Of course I ended up staying there for a while and had a couple. Sunday I was a mad woman cleaning, sorting and packing. Of course I still have more to go but for now it works.
They put the furnace in yesterday!!! YEAH!!! I'm shooting for Friday as moving day so you may not hear from me until after then. I've just been so busy doing this shit and stressing out over it. I cannot WAIT for it to be all said and done. That'll make me a happier camper let me tell ya!!! :) I've been in the house quite a few times monitering how much shit he has left in it and I've been noticing all of the little imperfections in the walls etc. Ya, that's going to be fun to fix! Oh well, I can do whatever I want!
Anyway, happy trails!
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Winter Carnival 2006After I posted my rather boring post I thought about these pics and figured that I could share them with you. Every year a local university has Winter Carnival with different themes and they make ice sculptures. They're spectacular to say the least! This years theme was something to do with cartoons. I know some of the pics aren't that easy to see. There are some that I didn't take. Enjoy anyway. :)
What's in a horoscope?Infospace--
You're not quite sure what's going on with a friend or coworker, but you know you don't like it. They've been acting oddly for some time, but it seems to have come to a head. The one thing you're sure of is that the anger and jealousy they're turning toward you definitely isn't deserved. Still, you'll be able to put your hurt feelings aside and be rational. It won't be easy, but afterward, you'll be proud of yourself.
MSN (love)--
With the position of the planets today, love is a question of working out your priorities. This aspect encourages you to take a good look at your motives for wanting to be involved with a certain person. If you are attracted a purely physical level, there is no guarantee that it will last once you have exhausted the novelty of being with someone new. You would be better to have a more spiritual connection.
Yahoo--
Quickie:
It's time to be more active in the issues that are important to you. Get involved.
Overview:
Mixed messages can be ever so annoying, but you'll save yourself a whole lot of time and hassle if you refuse to play interpreter. Work with what's right in front of you, rather than what you want to hear.
After those I got bored and quit looking. What do people really get out of reading them anyway? I'll never know. Just a bunch of mumbo jumbo.
Well, I'm finally done being pissy... I think. Now I'm just very "blah" for lack of a word. I probably have no words because I have no feeling. I did end up drinking and drunk dialing the other night. Never a good combo. I failed... AUGH...
I won't be moving into the house this weekend. C still hasn't gone over there to get the rest of his stuff out. Fucker.
It's also snowing like a bitch here today. I hate snow. The bay finally froze over this weekend and the idiots are already out there in their ice shantys. Unreal! Every year someone falls through the ice, never fails. A friend of mine that I see every now and then went through in his truck last year. If you go through on a snowmobile, car, atv, whatever it is, I think you have to pay like $100/ day. I have no idea if he ever got the truck out or not... How do you get a truck out that's on the bottom of a 70' deep part of the lake? Dumb. I'm positive that he was drunk when he did it. Lucky he didn't kill himself. Whenever his wife lets him out he does something dumb no matter what time of year. He should be kept locked up.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Hello from the dark side...Yes, I'm still a crabby bitch today. I HATE Valentine's Day. Not just because I have no one but because it's just such a useless day. I suppose if I was in the greeting card, flower, or chocolate business I'd like it a little more but to me it's just plain 'ol useless. I mean, I like jewelry any day of the week, but flowers die and chocolate makes you fat. Cards get thrown away after their read. To me, it's one big fat waste of money. I opted to wear black again today. I wore it yesterday too. I'll have to see how many more black shirts to finish out the week. What the hell, why not!? The word "fuck" has come out of my mouth so many times today it's not even funny. Whatever. I don't care.
I got home and have a "peach slip" from the post office. It's from the Office of Sheriff. WTF!? I hope to God that it's something about that dumbass in VA that had all of my stuff. If it's anything else I swear I may flip my lid. I also got mail yesterday from Friend of the Court with a change in the child support. I'm not sure if it went up or down. It seems to me like it's around the same so I'm not going to be worried about it right now. I did get a raise today. YEAH! At least SOMETHING good happened this week. This freaking month!
I'm still pissed off about the other situation. The "moral" one. I got pissed and then I vented and then I sent an email saying I was sorry for being pissed off because I really have no right. Now that I think about it I'm pissed off again. Probably just because I can be I imagine. I'm a woman and reserve the right to change my mind at any time.
I love the James Blunt cd. There's only one song that I really don't care for but the rest is nice and almost depressing. Perfect for my mood right now. Mellow. That's exactly what I need.
Nice, just cleaning out S's backpack and guess what I find?! A pair of my freaking underwear!!! JC! How freaking embarassing! They must have been stuck to her basketball uniform. Oh my God! NICE!
Ok, I'm done for now. I'm going to have a beer or 5.
Monday, February 13, 2006
I HATE Mondays and everything else in the worldYes, another piss poor post from yours truly. I hate Mondays. If I could sleep through them I would. I swear to God!
My "moral issue" has been solved. Not in the way I'd have liked but it's solved none the less. I'm not sure how I feel about it either. I have very mixed emotions. Let's just say the decision was made and I'm leaving it at that today.
C was supposed to have everything out of his house this weekend and guess what? Yep that's right, he's dragging his feet the fucker! That just royally screws up my week. I had it all planned out as to what I was going to do day by day. Right now I'm feeling quite homeless due to all of the fucking cardboard boxes scattered all over my apartment. At least I have a roof over my head... things could be worse. He sent me an email today saying that he didn't get everything out this weekend but will have it gone next weekend FOR SURE!!! Ya right. That just screws everything up. I wanted to get in there and clean the carpets and what not and actually have time to move my stuff over instead of being forced to do it all at once. AUGH!
And then we have Feb 14 tomorrow. Another fucking Hallmark holiday. I might as well hate Tuesdays this week too. Another day for all of us single schmucks to sit around and pretend we're happy for all of the other flower toting, candy eating bitches in the office. I think I'll wear black. Head to toe.
What else can I bitch about today since I'm on such a roll? Oh maybe I'll think of something later... For now I think I'm done.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
MINE MINE MINE!!!!!Chris finally called today! He called the bank back and now all I have to do is go over and sign my life away and it's all mine! He's going to head up there between now and this weekend and clean the rest of his and his ex's stuff out of it so I can start doing my thing. Hopefully he's got it all taken care of by Sunday and I can start hauling. I'm so not looking forward to this! Called someone else today about the furnace and am waiting to hear back from them to see what kind of estimate they give me. Hopefully better than the other guy!
More later...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Morals?Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong but you did it anyway because of pure selfish reasons? And then didn't get the outcome you wanted, knowing that you shouldn't feel bad about it since you knew it wasn't right in the first place?
I really have nothing today...
Got some flowers at work. That was interesting. When I looked at the envelope the card was wrapped in I immediatly assumed I knew who they came from.... then I opened the card. My sisters friend who is about 24 or 25 maybe has been infatuated with me for a couple of years now. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy but he's young. I'm done with the partying and sitting my ass at the bar night after night because I have nothing else to do. I'd rather sit home in front of the tv by myself or go visit a friend. On top of that he's young and has no idea what he wants out of his life. I, on the other hand, am not so sure that I want anymore children. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter to death and would not trade her for anything in the world, I just dont' miss the "baby" stage. I dont' miss changing diapers or hauling 3 bags, a car seat and the other millions of things that go along with a baby whenever you want to go anywhere. My daughter is 5 years old. She can feed herself, get herself dresses, wipe her own butt (thank God!) and all of the little independant things that they learn to do at this age. It's SOOOOO nice! Maybe it's because I've been a single mother since she was 10 months old? Maybe it's because I didn't even have any help when we lived w/ her dad. Or maybe it's because I just don't have the energy to put into it anymore. I know that I do not want to be a single mother with 2 kids. That much I know for SURE! So, lets say that I meet someone within the next year, that puts me at 29, then we have to date for a period of time... lets say 3 years, that puts me at 32, then we decide to get married within that year so I'll be 32-34 or so. I am not going to start all over having babies when I'm 35 years old!!! I refuse to do it. I'll be roughly 40 when S graduates. Ok, so if I have another one she'd be graduating and I'd just be putting the other one in kindergarten!? I don't think so! I want my independance. I want to be able to do what I want to do. I want to be a young mom. Yes, this sounds very selfish but it's true. I've thought long and hard about this. When my last bf and I were together, I wanted so badly to have his babies. I would have had another 3-4 of them. No joke. Well, that was 3 years of a "learning" period in my life. I don't regret it, but I knew early on that he had no intention of spending his "forever" life with me. So why didn't I call it quits well before then? Becuase I'm a woman and I'm dumb. I thought I could change his mind and make him love me. Or learn to love me deeper than what he was capable of. Ok, so lets say that that happens again... ya, then I'm in the same boat I'm in now. I guess I just don't look too brightly at my future with someone. Maybe that's why I choose men that are older, that know what they want out of life..... That's my guess. They have their shit taken care of and out of their system. I've always dated older men. Hell, S's dad is 14 years older than me! Yep, he robbed the cradle. So anyway, off of my tangent... the flowers weren't from my sisters friend like I thought they were. He and I had a good time Sat night at the bachelor/bachelorette parties (they ended up merging by the end of the night), he was fun to hang around with and nice to talk to. Yes, he's kind of cute but really not my type. Anyway, earlier that day I'd gotten a call from a guy that I'd graduated high school with. He just moved back here and is going through a custody battle and wanted to sit down with me and talk to me about it. He and I had never been close so the call was a bit odd but then again every now and then I do get a random call regarding custody and visitation since mine is such a bitch. I went through the ringer on that one but that's a whole other post. So I told him that I was getting ready to go to the party and finishing up some packing but that I'd be willing to talk to him another time about it. He knows the groom too and said that he might see me out later. Well, he did. He showed up at the bar and later in the night during my drunkenness he came up to talk to me and again told me that he'd really like to talk to me about what I went through and again for the 20th time I agreed to talk to him about it but that night was just not the time nor the place to even start the discussion since it pisses me off so bad. Well then he starts talking about how we have the same bday and how in school he always thought it'd be so funny if we dated because he'd never do the typical man thing and forget my bday. I'm thinking-- Uh oh, here we go! I could tell immediately where this conversation was going and I desperately tried getting out of it but it wasn't going to happen. He had me cornered. Then he brought up my Match.com episode. Yes, I listed myself on Match looking for someone that has 3/4 of a brain because the men around here just don't. There is no one here that even piques my interest. Ok, maybe one or two but that's just not going to happen because of different circumstances which I dont' want to discuss. He said that if I really meant what I said on my profile he'd like to talk to me more about it and get to know me some more.. AUGH! First of all, he was a geek in high school. He's not so bad now, granted that was 10 years ago and he's grown up, he does have a nice smile, eyes and through his clothes seems to have a nice body on him. Not necissarily the type I'd go after looks wise tho. Yes that sounds shallow. I'm sorry. Shoot me. You have to admit that you ahve to have the physical attraction to someone and I just really don't think it's there with him. Anyway, not only that, he's JUST (literally) getting out of a relationship and trying to sort his life out. Do I want to deal with that mess right now!? HELL NO! I have made enough of a mess all on my own this past week (that I haven't even posted about) and I really don't need to add to it. Not only that but I'm friends with his ex-girlfriend. Not really good friends but nonetheless, friends. She's actually more of my sister friend but anyway....
Why is it that I can't just meet a nice, normal man? JC, last week when I was in MQT I had some icky guy following me around the bar all night telling me that I reminded him of a young Catherine Zeta-Jones, then I apparently gave some old guy, probably around 90, a kiss on the lips, no clue why I did that, but he told me to meet him back there in 2 weeks which would be this weekend. Uh, I don't think so. I still haven't a clue as to why I did that. Oh well, I bet I made his night. Hopefully when I'm 90 some little hottie does that to me because I'm guessing when I'm his age, anyone my age is going to look better than the gravity challenged women I'll be competing against. Then some chick brings me over to some other guy, no clue who he was.. well I do now because HE CALLED ME! Ya, I wrote my number on his hand. Not sure if I was trying to get away from him or what. All I remember is him telling me about the house he was building and how he will now have room for kids. AUGH! WHY can I just not meet someone nice that isn't hell bent on finding a wife or having babies?! Seriously!? Anyone care to enlighten me on this?
Ok, so I guess I lied. I did have something for you. I have the gift of gab and very rarely ever have a loss for words...
Oh, almost forgot. I got an email from hot UPS guy yesterday. He's in CA and will be shipping out early March for the desert. I still love him even though I know it'll never happen. I guess I have to settle for friendship with that one. THEN I get another email shortly after that from this salesmen that had stopped in last year for a meeting. I saw him and I was speechless. Yes, I know it's hard to believe but I was. I was so speechless in fact that I NEVER have the balls to approach anyone but I was so in awe of him that I grabbed his business card from one of the guys that met with him and emailed him to see how his trip back was. Yes, corny I know but it was my way "in". Anyway, he emailed me back and forth for a while and then it just puttered out. I heard from him again at the end of July when one of my co-workers was killed in a plane crash in TX. He emailed his condolences. Anyway, I got an email from him last night saying that he was coming up to my town on Wed for a meeting so I emailed him back to see if he was coming to my company or what. Well he is. He has a meeting with the guys tomorrow at 11a. Needless to say, I'll wear my good butt jeans and some sexy low cut, cleavage bearing top. Oh ya, mama's gonna play this game tomorrow!!! Purely because I can!
Why is it that I've chatted about 3-4 people this evening, 2 that I want nothing to do with and 2 that I'd love to do thing with but can't, and 1 that I can't even begin to go into detail about. Something's a little screwed up here. Why is it that the ones I'm attracted to are never attracted back? Fuckers!
Ok I'm really done this time. :) Nite.
Monday, February 06, 2006
A whole lot of nuttin honeyWell, I can't get the text back from the "dreams" post. That pisses me off, although I did get a lot off of my chest and actually feel better because of it.
The bank called today and the title for the house is back already!? H-o-l-y shit!!! She hadn't even sent it in a week ago! Now all we have to do is get a hold of the guy that currently owns it and get the deed taken care of and pick a closing date. OMG! I am so NOT wanting to pack. I did go through all of our clothes on Sat which was good. That helped out a lot. I was on a roll and ready to do more but I couldn't because I had to go to a bridal shower/bachelorette party. Needless to say, I got NOTHING done yesterday. My ass was on the couch the majority of the day. Wow! Now I know why I make sure I eat before I do any heavy duty drinking. Yuk. I'm not much of a drinker as it is but the beer was a-flowin' down really good. I'll have to post some pics later. I haven't even downloaded them yet. I'm lucky I had enough ambition to wipe my own ass yesterday. I think I may have had penis envy. How nice is it to just be able to whip it out and go anywhere?! So unfair.
My friends are having breakdowns and calling me for advice for once, which is kind of nice since I'm usually the drama queen of the bunch. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't wish any heartache on either of them. It's just weird for once that I have no drama. Well, that's a lie, I always have some type of drama going on. I just feel for them both really.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Dreams...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Round and round we go....Well, things with the house are coming along. The appraisal was dropped off at the bank today (which of course he gave me a discount on 'cause he loves me) and that was just about all they needed to send it in for the title. She said that everything could be done as soon as the week of Feb 13 or the week after. I told her that it really wasn't a super hurry due to all of the freaking packing that I have to do. I admit it. I'm a pack rat. Really, really bad. I've gotten better I do admit, but I'm still bad. I have a big Rubber Maid tub of all of S's stuff from preschool and Kindergarten, I just can't bring myself to throw it away. All of her little pictures that she's made for me etc.. It's all sentimental. I just cant' throw it out. Maybe I could sort through it and throw some away... I'll have to try doing that.
So, on the agenda for tonight-- Packing. S has to go through all of her stuffed animals and then we'll work on the toys, although she's usually pretty good with them. We go through them every couple of months and give the ones that she doesn't play with to St. Vincents so they kids that don't have toys can have something nice to play with. She seems to have grasped that concept, which is good. At least I don't have a bunch of junk laying around! I think my room is going to be the worst. I have a huge walk in closet, yet you can't walk in it. Yes I have to go through and toss all of the shit that I don't wear. I know I know!!! But it doesn't help that I have half of S's clothes in my room either!!!
I'm not sure if I'm going to the funeral tomorrow or not. We got a ton of snow last night and are supposed to get more tonight. It's roughly a 2-2/12 hr drive one way to get there. The visitation is 3-7p and the funeral at 7p. If I do go, I'm going to go early that way I can be home early and spend some time with S before she has to go to bed. I just really feel like I should pay my respects to him...
