Just Another Bend In Journey of Life
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Ghosts, the L word and MomI can't remember if I've blogged about any of this before so if I've had sorry, but you're getting it again!!!
A couple weeks ago I decided that I should clean out S's closet. After I'd started painting her room we'd thrown things in there just to get them out of the way. So I decided that I should go ahead and organize things, go through her clothes and get rid of the stuff that doesnt' fit etc... Well as I was going through one section of stuff I was organizing this basket-type thing. It has 3 baskets that are all "stacked" on top of each other so you can put whatever in them and has wheels on the bottom of the cart looking thing. Well I was bending over and my necklace got caught on it and snapped. Yes the very necklace that I'd bought myself from my parents for Christmas. The one the jewelry store said would be surprised if I did indeed break it. I assured them it would happen and they'd see me back in the store within a few months. (Hahaha! I was right!) Anyway, it snapped and fall on the floor directly below me. The pendant however was no wehre to be found. NO WHERE! No joke. I even had my sister come up and look. We moved everything that we could possibly move. Not just sliding it from one place to another but literally picking it up off of the floor and looking underneath and all around. GONE! Not only was it beautiful but it also had sentimental value. My ex had bought it for me when he went to Aruba with his buddies.... And left me at home. Bastards! Anyway, that was a week or two ago and I still can't find it. Right before Easter I realized that I was missing my cake pan. I have my Pyrex one but I'm missing the Wilton one w/ the cover. Thought maybe my mom or dad had it since I often make dinner when my dad is in town working nights and give him a pan of whatever I made and keep a plate for myself otherwise it'll go bad. Anyway, we have all searched for the cake pan and it's no where to be found. I'm friends w/ the chick that moved into my old apt so I even emailed her to see if I left it behind even though I KNOW I packed it in the box with the kitchen stuff and everything that was in that box has long been unpacked. Ok, so fast forward to Monday. I get home from work, stop at the store and decide that I'm going to make a pan of stuffed shells. Well I get them all made up and go to wash the dishes and my freaking dish soap is gone. No where to be found. Not even kidding you!!! I remember when I moved into the house I bought a cheap bottle of the old regular Dawn dishsoap and used the last of it when I cleaned out the litter box. I keep a white board on the side of the fridge so I can write a list of the things that I need at the store, dish soap being on the top of the list. Well I look at the list on the fridge and dish soap was crossed off. I know that I bought a bottle of the dark blue power plus super heavy duty Dawn when was at the store last. I remember having it up or near the window sill right by the sink in the kitchen and thinking that it was dumb since I have very little counter space to begin with and it was being beaten on by the sun, so I put it under the sink. Anyway, so I have all of these dirty dishes from making stuffed shells and pumpkin pie (S loves it and talked me into it), so I get the water going and go to reach for the dish soap and it's not there! WTF?! I literally searched all over. I pulled everything out from under the sink, I looked in the cupboards, the bathroom, all over inside as well as outside the house and in the suana. Hell I even looked in the refridgerator!!! I'm not kidding you! The shit is gone! Vanished! I called my sister and told her that I had THE dumbest question to ask her. I asked and she just about died hysterically laughing. Well I went to the store the next day and bought a bottle of GREEN dishsoap just so when/ if the other one turns up people don't think I'm crazy. Well then I stopped at my Grandma's last night and my sister happened to be there. We were talking about my house and I was telling them how I'd like to buy a trampoline for the yard since it's so big. My gma looks at my sister and says "Should we tell her?" and my sister just sat there with this crazy smile on her face. Well, I'm thinking "Cool, Gram and Gramps got S a trampoline!" Oh no! That wasn't it at all!!! She proceeds to tell me that where my house is, used to be a funeral home back in the old days!!!!! WTF?! Are you fucking kidding me!? So last night I'm just laughing that off. Then again... I do live across the street from a Catholic church! Could it be?! So I email a guy today that knows everything about anything about the county. He does a little research and calls me at work. Oh great I'm thinking to myself! Anyway, he said that there was in fact a funeral home back here at one point in time. No freaking way! So after I hang up with him I call the courthouse to find out when the house was built and who has owned it, thinking surely if it was a funeral home at one point in time it'd be in the records somewhere. Well, I'm happy to report that they finally called me back and it was NOT a funeral home. Now I do own 2 lots so maybe at one point in time the vacant lot next to the house that I own once housed a funeral parlour that is no longer there. I'll have to look into this a bit more and find out about it. I do know it's in the vicinity but the exact whereabouts are yet to be discovered. Well, by me anyway. However, the looming question is-- Where the fuck is my dish soap!? I'm still trying to find the receipt to prove that I purchased it but I think it may have been one that I tossed. Damn it! Then there was the night that the 4 of us were in the hot tub and Jess said that she saw what looked like a person in the doorway to my bedroom. Personally I think that was all in her head but with the weird shit going on... One never knows! :)
On to the L word---
Last night BT came over. He was a bit tuned up I admit as he'd been at camp with the guys. Anyway, can't remember the conversation we were having but he blurted out that he loved me! My response (typical Sarah)-- Shut up! Yes, I know. Harsh and cruel, especially after someone just spills their heart out (ok not really but that takes balls to say for the first time). I DID explain myself. I told him that he didn't know me well enough to love me. He responded with the fact that he thinks he's falling in love with me and then laughed and said that he's "fond" of me to which I told him that I was "fond" of him too. Hahahaha!!! I know, not nice. But I refuse to tell someone that I love them when I don't. Do I have feelings for him? Sure I do. I enjoy being with him, he makes me laugh and certainly makes me happy. However, I don't feel that I love him. Not at this point in time. Now I know that people fall in love at different rates, speeds whatever you want to call it. Maybe he does love me? Maybe he just feels very strongly for me and feels that it could be love? Is it lust? One never knows what goes on in someone else's head. I guess it could be since he did try for so long and I kept blowing him off. Who the hell knows?! I'm just being cautious and not jumping ahead of myself. All I know is that I'm happy and enjoy being around him and for the time being, have no intention of starting anything with anyone else other than him. I guess time will tell as to what the future holds. I did relay all of this to him so he does know where I stand on everything. The one thing that I do believe is that you have to be open and honest with people so that nothing is a surprise. I can only hope that he understands where I am coming from, which I think he does. Do I think it could turn into love? Sure, maybe one day it will. I do know that he is something special and I like the way that I feel when I am with him. He is a very sweet and caring person. Ok, enough about that. I'm almost analizing again and I hate to do that.
Mom heard back from the Dr today. Can't remember if update you yesterday or not. I dont think that I did. The Dr called her yesterday and told her that they found a kink in the artery that they were going to do surgery on tomorrow and he wanted to get the actual pictures and take a look at them and he'd get back to her today. Well she waited all day long to hear something and finally around 230-3p he finally called or emailed her. Apparently there is a blockage but not where they thought it was so they want her to go to a Neurologist. Nice. Well, she already has a brain tumor that was discovered this time of year 10 years ago, and they think she had it 5-10 years before then. She doesn't want it taken out and they don't think it's cancerous. So, my guess is that she'll be heading back down to Marshfield.
And that's all I got to say about that.
