Just Another Bend In Journey of Life
Thursday, September 28, 2006
SlackerSo as you can see I'm slacking yet again! Busy week. S's bday party was Sunday. Hard to believe she's 6 years old already. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday..... She couldn't decide on what kind of cake she wanted this year. It went from Tinkerbell to a butterfly to a horse. We ended up making a big giant 6 out of cupcakes and frosted the entire tops of them with pink frosting so it looked like a continuous "6" and not a bunch of cupcakes. She put sprinkes over the tops of all of them and I did an outline in purple. It turned out cute. I thought anyway. When we got there we were joking that looking back on the pics I'm not going to be able to remember if it was her 6th bday or her 9th! My little cousin came in and asked me what the "g" was for. Nice. I realized when she was blowing out her candles, that it did in fact look like a "9" so I had to run around to the other side of her and take some the "right" way. :)
In other news, we're busy getting ready for Halloween. I am heading down to a friends house again this year. Another friend of ours is coming in from MQT. Should be fun. We'd initially decided on being delivery girls but changed it to Pirates. It was a toss up between pirates and cops. The cop idea was funny because my dad is a cop, one is engaged to a cop and the other will most likely soon be engaged to a cop also. Would have been funny but it's too late to change now as the costumes have been purchased and hopefully shipped soon. At least our heads are out of our asses this year. Last year I waited too late to buy mine and the one I wanted was sold out everywhere in my size. I ended up paying out the ass for it. It was worth it though. We looked hot! :) At least I can use some of last years costume for this year. My red frillys and my black petticoat. The totally hot shoes I had last year would work this year too but I think being a pirate I should really wear boots. The other girls costumes came w/ a hat, sword and eye patch and mine doesn't. Damn it. I had to buy the hat seperately. Instead of a sword I think I'm going to get a whip or cat o' nine tails. Hey, I can't be the same! :)
I just tried uploading pics of the costumes but of course Blogger has PMS again today and won't let me. Here's the link http://www.3wishes.com/pirate.asp. You guys decide which one you think "fits" me the best.
In other news. Becky is still hounding me about going on a date w/ hot cop. We'll see what happens there. I think I'm just not too keen on it for the purely selfish fact that I KNOW he's going to want kids one day and I'm just passed the stage in my life. I mean, maybe one day I will change my mind but I really don't want my kids to be 10 years apart in age. S and her brother (dads previous marriage) are 10 years apart and that's hard. Let's face it, I'd have to meet someone first, get married blah, blah, blah, before having another one. She just turned 6. That's a big age difference right there. IDK, it'd take someone really special to change my mind about that one. One never knows what the future holds I guess. The one thing that I do know is that I do NOT envy watching my sister and other friends with little ones, hauling bags around with diapers, extra clothes, food etc.... Making sure they'll all bundled up in the cold. Mine is just so easy now. She can keep herself occupied, dress and feed herself etc. It's just really nice. I'm not so sure I'm willing to start over. Time will tell I guess. Anyway, so ya, that's my issue w/ hot cop. He's young. On the other hand, a couple of friends of mine were at the party on Sunday and she had thought of a guy that would supposidly be PERFECT for me. Her hubby and this guy (we'll call him Mr Army) work in the National Guard together. He's about 36-38 and is divorced with 2 girls. I guess his wife left him while he was serving in Iraq for a year. What a bitch. I mean, shit happens but here's this guy serving OUR country for US and she up and leaves him?! My God, I mean, what else did he have to hold on to while he was over in the killing zone? Terrible. Anyway, so I guess J is emailing Mr Army and giving him my number. This outta be interesting. They said that he is just one of the nicest people you'd ever meet in your life. He's from the same town "the" ex is from. Nice, just what I need! :) JK. He doesn't live there anymore, he lives near when I'll be for Halloween. My Aunt and Uncle that were at the party on Sunday also know him and said the same thing about him. Then I was MSN'ing w/ a friend in MN and she said that she's met him too and is very nice. So far so good. And the good thing about him is that he has 2 kids so there probably wouldn't be any pressure there to have anymore. It'd be a mutual decision. Yes, I realize I'm jumping the gun here but I can't walk blindly into a relationship or even a date with someone knowing full well that we want different things. I mean, you date people for a reason right? To find that special someone that you can spend the rest of your life with? Well, instead of the serial daters I guess. Anyway, that's the point I'm at. I hate the dating scene and why date someone knowing it's not what you want in the long run? That's why I kicked BT to the curb. Just way too different people.
Anyway, time to work.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Weekend NothingsNot much to report this weekend. Although thank God we didn't just sit at home! Friday we went to my cousins and let the kids play and had a few drinks. I came home and chatted w/ some friends for a while. Damn raccoons were out again. About 2' from my feet!!! Walked right up on the porch. WTH?! I got the BB gun out, knowing it wasn't going to hurt them, maybe just sting a little. I got 'em a few times. I haven't seen him back so hopefully he's gone. As for other wild life adventures, the deer are moving through the yard constantly. I have 2 does, and 3 fawns coming in on a regular basis now. I'll have to post some pictures soon.
Saturday S and I ended up going to a neighboring town to see Mr. Hockey. He was here w/ the team for a charity event. It was nice to see him, it's been a year!!! Wow! He's still hot as ever! The BEST dimples, smile and raspy voice you've ever heard. Ahhhhh....... S had a blast at the game and now wants to go to a "real" one so I'm going to see if I can't score some tickets. It's different watching the Alumni play compared to the current players. Then again, I'm sure there's a good 20 year age difference too!!! Anyway, we stayed the night there on Sat and did a little shopping for her birthday. It's hard to believe she's going to be 6 already! Where does the time go.
The other thing I realized this weekend. Not that I haven't known this before today but man! Women are catty!!! Just when you think that people are your friends-- WHAP! You find out they're really not. It makes you wonder what people really think? Why do people pretend to be your friend and then when you do or say something that they don't agree with, they automatically hate you, spread rumors all over and just torture you in any way possible? What ever happened to "thanks, but no thanks" and walking away? Aren't the days of grade/middle/high school done and over with? You would think that when people grow up and become adults that they would be able to walk away from things. Even when something happens in one's life that doesn't directly effect you. Why do some people feel it's their business? Gossip. Now I know why I have more guy friends than I do girlfriends. All guys care about is filling their bellysm family and getting laid. They could care less what people have to bitch about the majority of the time. It just truely amazes me!
Sunday, September 17, 2006
RespectI realize that people out there may not agree with the comments that are left on my blog. However, they are comments on MY blog and not yours. I realize that friends are friends and they defend others and are there to help. However, I will not tolerate comments that are left on my blog like that again. There is no need for that. Just because you're not getting the reaction you want out of someone, please do not stop by my site and try to provoke.
Thanks in advance for your understanding.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
What to do....I have to come up with a cake idea before next Saturday for S's birthday. It went from Tinkerbell to now maybe a butterfly..... Last year it was a princess castle. I will not go that elaborate this year. That was tough!
The other thing bothering me is that I couldnt' sleep the other night. I heard the raccoons outside that night so I decided to get the BB gun that my neighbor so nicely lent to me and went outside and grabbed a chair to wait for them to come back. It was about 115-130am. As I moved the chair so that I could see them better I noticed the door to my sauna was cracked open and the light was on. WTF?! I wasn't about to go over there, bb gun in hand or not. I called my dad at the office-no answer. Called the cell phone-- no answer. I finally called up to the Sheriff's Dept to see if he was there, which he wasn't but they radioed him for me. He called and I told him what was going on and then they stopped by. He and his partner wetn into the sauna and there was no one in there so they shut the lights off and closed and latched the door. I figured that my neighbor was over there checking/measuring the water pipes and just forgot to shut the lights off. No big deal. So Tuesday night I was outside putting out apples for the deer and decided that since it was still light out I'd go check the sauna. Again the freaking light was on!!!!!!! WTF is going on!? Pipes hadn't been replaced nor were they sautered. No fire had been lit in the stove (there was still a cobweb in it). I figured it must have been neighbor over there again. So yesterday I get to work and decide that I was going to call him since we work opposite shifts. "No honey, I haven't been in the sauna". Well WTF?! So on my lunch I went and got a lock for my back door (uh, ya) and stopped at home. We rigged it so that we'd be able to tell if someone was in there again. I have a feeling I have someone needing a place to sleep. No big deal really but talk about freak me the hell out! I mean, I don't know if this person is a pedophile or what. I mean, they could be trying to sneak a peek into my house at night. So needless to say, S has been sleeping w/ me and I now have sheets up on the windows that I didn't have blinds/curtains for yet (still deciding on the "perfect" color. I checked this morning and no one has been in there last night so..... IDK. I had dreams all night last night. Weird. I dreamed it was the middle aged bag boy at the grocery store that is always really nice and friendly... But I freaked out 'cause the way my bedroom is set up is that I can see directly out the kitchen window while I'm laying in bed. Of course when it's dark out it's hard to see whether anyone is standing back staring at you. I only have a valance on that window. It's one that's above the sink so it's a smaller window but still... Maybe I should sprinkle some flour on the back porch tonight so that way I could tell if someone was walking on it???? That actually sounds like a really good idea. When it's dark out at night you can't see anything back there. The funny thing is that if someone is sleeping in there at night, why are they leaving the lights on? (Both lights, the one in the changing room and the one in the sauna.) I mean, if you're trying to be sneeky wouldnt' you make sure to shut the lights off? That would make sense to me. Then again, some people are dumb.
One of the other things troubling me is that I STILL cannot recover the pics from the external hard drive. We tried at work today and we're pretty much certain it's shot. This just makes me want to throw up. Sickens me to the core. I'm going to bring my pc into work tomorrow and have them put it in there and see what they can do. Hopefully it'll work although we're thinking it's pretty grim. I could just throw up. He said something about the arm that reads the disk is knocking on it or not reading it or something. IDK, too confusing for me. All I can get out of it is that I"M SCREWED!!!!!
Monday, September 11, 2006
Where were you?Where were you 5 years ago today? Can you remember? Can you remember where you were when you heard the news? What you were doing?
I can.
S and I had just recently moved back home and was living with my parents. I hadn't left VA or the airlines even a month prior. It was more like a couple of weeks. I can't remember if S had woken me up or if I got up on my own. She was 13 days shy of her first birthday. I crawled out of bed in the little blue room that was once my sisters, eyes still glazed over and full of sleep. My parents always left the TV on for the dog. The first thing I heard was the sheer horror, terror and panic in the voices on TV. I glanced at the TV and thought it was a made for TV movie or a reenactment on Court TV, to which my parents are devoted fans. I could not believe my eyes. It was just minutes after the first plane hit the WTC. Only 5 short years before that, I'd been there. Right there. In NYC, at the WTC as part of my Senior class trip. I remember coming out of the elevators of a building we were visiting and seeing blockades next to the WTC. We laughed because the guys from the NYPD were there and we just HAD to get our pictures taken with them. I knew my dad would appreciate it in the very least, him being a police officer and all. Besides, how many times in your life do you get to have your picture taken w/ the men in blue? Especially the NYPD blue?! So 4 of us girls all crowded around them and took our pictures with them. I can't remember what they said was going on. Some kind of protest if I remember right... I often wonder how many of them perished? I'd like to think that none of them did but my gut tells me otherwise.
I was glued to the TV that day and in the days following. I could not believe what was happening as I watched in horror of what I was seeing. My dad was at camp and had no idea what was going on. I don't know where my sister was as I don't think she was still living at home. My mom was working. I called her to see if they'd heard, knowing they didn't have a TV in the pharmacy. I think they had a radio on or someone went home and was getting a Tv. I can't really remember. I just remember talking to my mom and bawling uncontrollably. I don't really remember being a mom that day or even eating or functioning.
I do remember calling S's dad to make sure that they were ok but I couldn't get through. All of the lines were down. They live about 35 minutes from the Pentagon. I tried calling the 800 number to the airline trying to get through to him that way and I couldn't. Even that number was down. I remember praying that none of my co-workers were on those flights. Our airline was based out of Dulles and flew up and down the east coast as well as into the Midwest. Many of the people that I worked with commuted to various cities throughout the US. Many of them left our commuter airline to join the majors. Especially the pilots.
I remember the phone ringing throughout the day. I remember hearing the voices of my friends back home telling me how happy they were that I was here. Safe. I remember talking to my Grandma, I think it was that day. As soon as she heard my voice she cried. She didn't know if I'd made another trip back to VA or if I was at home and she was too afraid to call and find out. I have never felt so loved and appreciated as I did that day. I don't know if I will ever feel that way again in my life.
I started my new job the following day. It was for a sales position at a radio station about 35 minutes from my parents house in a neighboring town. The man who hired me knew I'd just left the airlines. I remember sitting in his office that first day and not being able to function and still crying because I didn't know if any of my friends or co-workers were on those flights. I can remember sitting in his office on the top floor of the station watching the news. I don't remember anything else from that day.
Thankfully, no one that I know of was on those flights. None of my close friends anyway. Once they released the flight logs I was glued to the internet searching through all of the names.
In January of my Senior year a few friends and I went to Acapulco. One of my friends parents had a condo there and let their kids take 2 friends each. Being typical teenage girls we scoured the beaches and clubs for cute guys to pass our time and make our vacation more fun. We ran into a couple of men from NY. I believe they worked for the NYPD also. Marco and Angelo. I do not remember their last names although my friend does. I know I have their names on the back of the picture we took with them. They're packed away in a box along with all of my pictures from NY. I remember looking for them on the rosters too but there were so many names of those that perished in NY it was nearly impossible.
Today was difficult for me. It filled me full of emotion and sadness. It brings me back to where I was 5 years ago today. All of the life changes that were ahead of me. Still, there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss working for the airlines. I have wondered that had I gotten hired at United when I'd applied all those years ago, if that would have been my destiny? Obviously it was not in God's plan for me.
Once aviation is in your blood it is so hard to get it out. I miss flying. I miss being around the airplanes, the stuffy uniforms (I still have the uniforms and my wings, I will keep them until the day that I die). The flight Attendants and pilots that I'd made such good friends with. The hustle and bustle of the airports. The people watching when I had a layover. Helping those people get on the planes that were scared to death of flying. Trying to tell a plane full of Japanese passengers that they cannot sit in the exit row because they didn't understand English and would not be able to understand my commands in case there was an emergency and we needed to get people out of the airplane ASAP. The pissed off people that had to be somewhere NOW and we were stranded somewhere because of weather conditions or mechanical delays. People don't understand that. They're horrified when a plane crashes due to weather conditions or something that mechanically malfunctioned but are beyond pissed off when they can't get from point A to point B when they're supposed to. Hey, better to be safe than sorry isn't it? I remember the day that I thought I was going to die flying from Traverse City to rinky dink Pellston airport during a snowstorm and the two grown men that were white as ghosts in the back of the plane. Seriously, I saw *everyone* I've ever come into contact with that day. They flashed before me in a matter of 5 seconds. I remember sitting against the cockpit wall in my jumpseat, buckled in and in my brace position, because the pilots had told me to be prepared for landing. All of a sudden I heard "woot woot! Pull up! Terrain! Woot woot! Pull up! Terrain!" That's when it flashed. The plane went straight up into the sky. I thought that was it. It obviously wasn't. I remember the pilots calling me one time telling me over the phone to come into the cockpit but not to open the door real wide, I asked why and they just repeated themselves. I was scared. I knew we were flying around thunderstorms galore and figured it was bad news. When I squeezed through the cockpit door I was in amazement. You know those little static balls that glow? (I always think of the movie Weird Science for some reason). The windshield of the cockpit as well as the nose of the airplane was full of little static electricity lines. Pink, purple, green... It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life. I was in pure and udder amazement. All around the airplane, while we were flying in clear skies, you could see clouds full of lightening bolts. I think it's so beautiful. When I left the cockpit I went back into the cabin and there were little electricity lines along the wings of the airplane. Luckily I don't think any of the passengers noticed as I'm sure some of them would have freshet. I remember the day we got hit by lightening in air and the burst of light that came in the crack of the door through the cabin. I had to remain calm as I really wasn't sure at that time what it was. The passengers were scared. I remember telling them if it was anything to worry about the pilots would call me. The very first flight I had by myself after my IOE and checkride with the first airline that I worked for was in a little puddle jumper. We made stops in IA, SD and then off to Denver. I'd never been out west before. It was clear as a bell in the night sky and there was an eclipse. It was extraordinary being able to see it happen mid air. The passengers and I were glued to the windows. I think I stayed in DEN that night but I can't remember. I know I didn't get to see much as it was dark and foggy when we landed and we left very early in the morning. That was the one and only time I've been to that airport. I remember all the fun places we'd get to go to on our layover and the people from the outstations, hotels and restaurants that we'd become friends with. The little shops in Savannah by the river and the Irish Pub that would always feed us when we'd get in late at night. I learned that in the south you have to ask for a BLT TOASTED or it comes to you on bread. The south is also famous for their "sweet tea". Bugs in the south are bigger too. Cockroaches are bigger than butterflies and when stepped on they crunch louder than really crispy potato chips. I remember flying into Wilmington, NC for the first time. We took a cab or the hotel van to the beach and I could not figure out for the life of me why the houses were on stilts! :) (Hey I'm from the Midwest!) Flying into Charleston, WV during the cicada hatching. OMG talk about gross! We could hear them "ping" against the side of the airplane while coming in. It was GROSS. Worse than the cockroaches in Savannah. Those little bastards would make their way into the airplane and I had to open and close the door at least 3-4 times to shoo them out before I'd let them leave the tarmac. We stayed there one night during the hatching phase and were waiting for the hotel van and a passenger telling us that he'd been waiting for 7 years for them to hatch because they were good to eat. BARF! He was serious too! One of those "lets melt some butter and garlic and fry them up" types. Wrong, just wrong. All of the fun nights the pilots and I had in Chicago. The night that we were out with another FA and some pilots and I decided that we should show some T&A for free shots. Every shot we did was Louis I,II, III etc... We got to about Louis the 15th. I was sick. In fact I was still drunk when I woke up at 2pm the next day. S's dad and I were dating at the time and I had to pick him and his son up at the airport that night. Have I ever told you that he proposed to me at the TravelLodge in Chicago? I knew he had the ring because I picked it out. It was beautiful. I knew he had it with him. (This was not the night I was hung over by the way.) We'd gone out to the local hangout that night and went back to the hotel. He still refused to give it to me so I went to bed. He woke me up around 1230am and asked me to marry him. My response? "Fuck you". I thought he was kidding. I'd waited and waited and he wouldn't give it to me. Couldn't take me out to dinner or do something romantic. Let's wake her up in the middle of the night by sitting on the floor on the side of the bed and ask her to marry me. Uh ya, that's what I always pictured in my head it would be like. He gave me the ring, I accepted and then said "we dont' have to do it do we?", rolled over and went back to bed. That was January 8, 2000. S was conceived the following day after we flew back to VA.... So many memories of my days at the airlines. Each and every one cherished in a differnet way. My own little way. But none of them will ever be forgotten. I often look up into the sky and wonder what would have been. But I wouldn't change a thing for my daughter is my life. She's the reason that I wake up in the morning and live my life the best I can on a daily basis. I'd put up with all of the bullshit of her father again just to have her. For she is the light of my life.
09/11 brings back so many memories for me. Mostly sadness. But I will always remember how loved I felt that day.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Tickle Tests--Who's Your TypeOk, we'll try this since the link didn't go through on the last post... Although it may be due to the fact that you have to actually create a username and password. Ah, you have nothing to lose anyway, they're fun!!!
For Women- http://web.tickle.com/tests/standard/your_type.jsp?test=your_type
For Men--http://web.tickle.com/tests/standard/your_type_men.jsp?test=your_type_men
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Tickle TestsI love the Tickle site w/ the dumb tests you can take. However, I have found most of them to be true about me. Imagine that!? I did this one this morning. I love the little added "bonus" they threw in at the bottom... Maybe that's why I'm still single?! :)
Your type is the Preppy
If he's conservative, friendly, and clean-cut, he's just your type! You fallhard and fast for the Preppy guy. Whether it's because of his handsome appearance orhis impeccable hygiene, this guy's a safe bet! He's fun and social withoutbeing immature or wild. Your guy's refined, runs with a cool crowd, and hasa little cockiness thrown in for good measure. This Yuppie male is alwaysput together well. He's just cool, calm, and collected. Another quality thatdraws you to him is his ambition. He aims for success and follows whateverpath will lead him there. You respect how he always makes time for hisfriends and has a tendency to be a little goofy. With this cheeky,well-groomed guy, you can rest assured that you'll live the Americandream!
(Personally I thought I'd have gotten the Romantic... I guess even *I* don't know what my type is anymore!!!!) .
What type are you? Find out!
You may have Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), a condition your doctor can help treat. Take a brief screener to find out if you may have the symptoms. Learn more
Thanks Kittie!!!I felt that I should post something to thank a dear friend of mine, Kittie, for fixing my site for me. Don't know what I'd have done w/o him! :)
Friday, September 08, 2006
Shopping & WalMartWhy is it that I can NEVER just go into WalMart, get what I need and get out!? Ok, I understand that I have to actually drive a ways to get there but still.... I go in for a few things worth $30 and come out with $160?! How is that possible!? Granted I had to get a few bday gifts and ended up w/ a couple of things for S but geez! A fish? I mean, did she *really* need a fish!? No, she didn't and I'm a sucker. I was getting a beta for a bday party she has to go to on Sunday. The girl has *everything* you can possibly imagine so I thought to myself about what the heck I could possibly get her that she didn't already have???? A beta. Every little girl needs a beta! Well of course we picked that one out and S had to have one too... I told her the cats will probably eat it but she wanted one anyway. So far they're leaving it alone with the exception that one of the cats is insistant on drinking the water out of it. Then again, he'll drink water from anything. I was warned when I got him.
Still.... WalMart sucks!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I'm sick... and not just in the headI decided the other day to get an external hard drive for my pc to back up all of my pictures and music files. I have probably 4000 pics and about 1000 songs on my pc at home. I figured that in case there was ever a fire or anything I could grab it that way I'm not losing anything. I got it home last week and MOVEd all of my pics onto it. Decided that I should take it to work and back up all of my music there too. Well before leaving work on Friday I was carrying a bunch of stuff and I DROPPED it. Yes, BAM! Right on the damn floor. Crash! FUCK! I got it home and it was working fine so I backed up all the music on my pc since I'd already done all the pics. I got up on Sat morning and the fucking thing wouldn't work! My computer wouldn't even recognize the drive!!!! UGH! So tonight I decide to fiddle w/ it again. I took it apart and made sure that everything was connected as it should be. It didn't appear that anything was physically broken from my dropping it so I just double checked all of the connections. Put it all back together, plugged it in and Wha-la! It works!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! So what do I do? Decide to fiddle w/ the music again. Uh ya, now it's not working at all again! Damn it! I can get a few things to come up on it but not the MAJOR stuff. I'm just sick over this. Seriously, I didn't just back up the pics, I physically MOVED them!!! Ya, nice I know. I'm not feeling too bright right now. I'm still focused on the fact that somehow someway it can be salvaged. I'll take the damn thing out and put it in my pc if I have to. Oh I could just puke.
In other news. When I woke up yesterday I was sad to see that the Crocodile Hunter had died. I have to admit that I was shocked. I mean, I love the show. I've watched him screw with every animal out there. Cringed when he was playing w/ spiders or swinging crocs around by their tails. Yet, he was damn good at what he did. Like no other I've seen anyway. I have a friend that lives in Brisbane near the zoo he has over there and he said that people in Australia really can't stand him which I found odd... Anyway, I'm still saddened to hear that he died so tragically. I mean, what are the odds? Actually I think I read it yesterday or today and it's literally about one in a million. I'd have pictured him being eaten by a lion or stung by a scorpion but never death by stingray. I guess it just goes to show you that no matter how good you are at your job, everyone makes mistakes. Live life to the fullest as you never know when it is that your number will be called.
RIP Steve!
Monday, September 04, 2006
I'm bored... deal with it!Yes, this is the second post today... I'm sure there will be one more later too...
Love this--
| Your Pick Up Line Is |
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What Pick Up Line Should You Use?
| You Are Liz Phair! |
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My Bloginality--ESTPMy Bloginality is ESTP!!!
You are an ESTP!
As an ESTP, you are Extraverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving.This makes your primary focus on Extraverted Sensing with Introverted Thinking.
This is defined as a SP personality, which is part of Carl Jung's Artisans (Sensation Seeking) type, and more specifically the Promoters or Doers.
Because you aren't as excited about routine, your blog may be more journal-like, without as much consistantcy in time between posts. But because you like getting things done, coupled with your need for style and appreciation for the sense, you will be more likely to have a gorgeous design and set up for journalling. (Gee, good thing I was just getting rid of my generic background huh? Hey, at least it wasn't boring ass white!)
ESTPs are spontaneous, active folks. Like the other SPs, ESTPs get great satisfaction from acting on their impulses. Activities involving great power, speed, thrill and risk are attractive to the ESTP. Chronic stifling of these impulses makes the ESTP feel "dead inside."
Gamesmanship is the calling card of the ESTP. Persons of this type have a natural drive to best the competition. Some of the most successful salespersons are ESTPs. P.T. Barnum ("Never give a sucker an even break") illustrates the unscrupulous contingent of this type.
Almost unconsciously the ESTP looks for nonverbal, nearly subliminal cues as to what makes her quarry "tick." Once she knows, she waits for just the right time to trump the unsuspecting victim's ace and glory in her conquest. Oddly enough, the ESTP seems to admire and respect anyone who can beat her at her own game.
"If I was any better, I couldn't stand it!" To an ESTP, admission of weakness feels like failure. He admires strength in himself and in others.
"Shock effect" is a favored technique of this type to get the attention of his audience. ESTPs love to be at center stage, demonstrating feats of wonder and daring.
Functional Analysis:
Extraverted Sensing
These are the ultimate realists. Extraverted Sensors are at one with objects and experiences now, in the only living, pulsing moment that ever really exists. The Sensor is compelled to see, touch, taste, smell and feel all that moves, wafts, tingles, tinkles, scintillates, vibrates or resonates. Some ESTPs are keenly discriminating; only those elements of singular quality and experience will suffice. Others revel in earthiness. If baseness can elicit shock from more squeamish observers, so much the better.
Introverted Thinking
Even a consummate Sensor needs to decide which hand to grasp the gusto with; Introverted Thinking is her preferred yardstick. Introverted, and auxiliary to Sensing, the T function maintains a low profile, keeps its opinions mainly to itself, and readily yields to allow Sensing to savor a special moment. The ESTP preference for mental, physical and emotional toughness surely can be traced to this detached, rational function.
Extraverted Feeling
Though only a minor character, Feeling plays an important role in a favorite pastime of ESTPs. This is not to say that ESTPs don't care deeply for others, yet Feeling is such a ready hand-puppet, expedient in disarming the "victim" and exposing the jugular. Sincere Feeling is tertiary and thus relatively simplistic in this type. As such, it can be the undoing of ESTPs at the hands of those they (perhaps unconsciously) come to trust.
Introverted Intuition
In the inferior (fourth) position, intuition may be virtually absent much of the time. Haziness of inner, symbolic vision is the psychic price of the clarity of sensory awareness. As do other SPs, ESTPs reserve a certain "gut" sense of timing and luck. When repression and stress empower the Shadow, it likely finds expression through intuition in stereotypic perceptions of groups and individuals whom it perceives and hostile or hurtful.
Hmmm.... I'm not sure I agree 100%.... although that could be my indecisivness..
Saturday, September 02, 2006
EE's idea... or something
