Just Another Bend In Journey of Life
Monday, January 30, 2006
Repeat of January? FUCK!Well I get to work this morning and get an email asking how old someone "was". Right away I knew something was wrong, that he had died. Of course I was very vague with my return emails until he told me what was going on. Well, come to find out a guy that I'd seen a few times died this morning. He was only 40 years old. 40 years old in November actually. He called 911 this morning around 0530, the ambulance brought him to the hospital and they were going to transport him to a better hospital in another town and he had a massive heart attack. He was the opening rant on my very first post to this blog. I'd met him on a blind date last January. He was WONDERFUL! EVERYTHING I could have asked for. He was charming, sweet, handsome, had a great job and I'm telling you, his house was straight out of Pottery Barn. When he told me that he did everything himself I was floored. I had to make sure he wasn't gay. (Which he wasn't) :) It was the most nicely decorated home I'd ever been in. Everything was perfect. We went out and had a nice dinner. We clicked right away. We talked on the phone nightly. He'd call me at work at the same time every morning. Slowly he became distant. Of couse I thought he'd met someone else and I was heart broken. He later admitted to me that he suffered from depression and it was hard to get out of bed at times. After D and I deciding to break up I'd gone through a bout of it myself and explained to him that I understood what he was going through and how he was feeling and that I'd be patient. Well, that time never came. I did call him in August to tell him that a friend and I were heading to his town for the night and he met us out for a beer and then I did end up going back to his place later that night. Again, he was the same 'ol person that I'd been smitten with 8 months prior. Of course he asked me if I wanted to go to Mackinaw Island with him and that never happened. He said he'd call. Now I know that I should know better because 9/10 when a guy says he'll call, what he really means is "it's been fun but I have no intention on calling you." I've heard it time and again. For some reason I always thought that maybe he did have good intentions but didn't want to burdeon me with his problems. I guess that is something I will never have the answer to. However, I'm sure his last memory of me was not a pleasant one as I was hurt that I never heard from him so I tried calling and left a rather nasty message on his answering machine about following through with things and he's going to be unhappy and miserable for the rest of his life if he keeps doing what he's doing, and no wonder why he hasn't met someone. I'm sure that he understood what I'd meant and I hope that he knew that I only did that because I was hurt. He was the first one since D that I'd really felt a connection with. I'm rather selective as to who I date and there are not many people that pique my interest. I'm sick of the young guys that are just looking for a peice of ass or are into nothing but partying and hanging out at the bar. Older men, in general, have that out of their system and have an idea of what they want out of their lives. And Dan did just that. He and I had talked in depth about what we both wanted, what we were both looking for, and our goals were very much similar. He really did have everything I wanted in a man. I guess I will never know what he really thought of me. I only hope that he didn't die unhappy. I hope that someone was able to bring him a little bit of joy that I guess I was not able to give him. Boy, we sure did have fun. We clicked right away. We went on our first date to a steak house where you cook your own steak. We had so much fun there. We joked around with the "chef" that was overseeing our grilling. We played off of each others jokes and comments. He was as quick witted as I am. It was funny. He made me try artichoke dip, which I thought I would hate but to my surprise I liked very much. He'd tried so hard to get me to go down there and see him. We were supposed to meet in another town but he ended up having to work and asked if I'd come down to his town and if I wasn't comfortable staying at his house he'd put me up in a hotel. Well, I did end up staying. After dinner we rented some movies and sat around and talked. I was supposed to pick up S the next day as she was returning from her dad's house. A snowstorm hit and she didn't end up coming home until the following weekend so he offered for me to stay another night. We got up and went to have breakfast, shopped around for a bit then went to lunch. We went and saw Meet the Fockers. We laughed out asses off. I will forever remember him when I watch that movie. Or the songs on the radio when my giddy self was driving home. When we'd gotten up the next morning he wasn't feeling well, he was getting over a cold so I went to the store to get him some medicine so he'd feel better. Even when I was there in August, we got up in the morning, he showed me where a friend of mine worked and then drove me to get some latte. We chatted a bit and then I left with the same feeling as I'd felt the last time I'd seen him, only this time I was SURE he was going to call. We did have an amazing night. I guess some things in life just aren't meant to happen. Some things are not meant to be. And some things are meant to be cut short. I feel for him. I feel for his family. Who thinks about being young and in good shape that something like that is going to happen? He will never know what it feels like to have the unconditional love from a child. I wonder if he's ever really been in love? The only good thing that I can think of right now that has come from this whole thing is that he is now in heaven with his dad who passed away some time ago...
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Week in Review....I'd have to say that the most exciting thing this week were the troops coming home! What an absolutely amazing feeling to know that they're ALL home safe and sound. They were over there for 18 very long months. I live on Lake Superior on one side of the bay. There's another town on the other side, about 5 miles away. That town houses the Armory and is also where I work. They guys came in on 2 buses. They went through the one town and then over to the other before going to the Armory. They were greeted with signs, yellow ribbons and a ton of flags. The streets were lined up, the cars were pulling over to the side of the road. To see these men that have fought for our country, back home, safe and sound was amazing. They were all peering out the windows, smiling and waving to all of us that came out to see them. They were followed by every single fire truck, police car, ambulance etc... between this county and the one north of us. By the time they left the Armory and headed north to the next Armory, when they got up to MTU, the "parade" was over 2 miles long!!!!! What a thing to come home to!!!! That and the foot of snow we'd just gotten!!! Quite the difference from being in the desert for 18 mos. Although I'm sure each and every single one of them didn't really care.
C agreed to sell me the house on Monday. I called the bank and did the paperwork on Tuesday and they were supposed to do the appraisal on Saturday. Hopefully they did. I'm still waiting on R to get the repair estimates so I can turn those in too. D was supposed to call me about the furnace this weekend but I didn't hear from him either. Fuckers! Oh well, hopefully I'll get it all tomorrow. I don't have a closing date yet. I wish I did so I have an idea of how much and how fast I should be packing. I'd like to have enough time to at least paint the living room instead of having to move all of the big furniture or God forbid get paint on it. I'm getting a new couch and chair for sure. They are soooooo nice and comfortable! I can't wait. I really need a new bed too but I guess that'll have to wait for now.
This is my soon to be new house! The yard is so nice and big. There's a nice apple tree on the side and a lilac bush in the front. I was able to sneek a peek of the sauna outside the other day when I was there and boy is that baby nice! I can see a lot of sauna parties in my future!!! Hopefully he gets lazy and doesn't want to move the hot tub. I am so keeping my fingers crossed on that! Although even if he does take it, it's behind a little L shaped fence and there's a little deck so we can still have nice party's back there! :) I so cannot wait!
Ok enough house talk for now as I'm sure there'll be plenty more in the near future and a lot of bitching about packing! I'm a HUGE pack rat so I'm sure I have plenty to sort through and get rid of. Oh I am so going to go through computer withdrawls when I have to pack this thing up! It's so going to be worth it in the end.
Enough for now. Ta ta bitches!
Monday, January 23, 2006
Whoooo Hooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The house is MINE!!! I'm giving him what he wants for it and heading to the bank tomorrow. My friend that own the construction company took his brother through it today, who is also in the family construction business and he said that the lot alone is worth that much and he's basically giving the house away! He also said the repairs that need to be done are nothing. I'm so freaking excited you have no idea! I'll post more later. I'm meeting w/ the bank tomorrow and need to go talk to the guys to see what they think needs to be done so I can bring that to the bank too. Yippee!!!!
Friday, January 20, 2006
Semi-silver lining?A week or so ago I'd found out that someone was selling a house for next to nothing. It's a nice little house set back off of the road, no neighbors directly next door, nice size yard etc... So I called the guy about it who I know fairly well and told him that I'd heard that the was selling it. He said that there is someone ahead of me that's interested and said that there are things that need to be fixed. The kitchen floor apparently isn't level, if you spill a glass of water it'll all roll to one side, the furnace *should* be replaced sometime soon and the basement is GROSS!!! Anyway my sisters boss's day job is construction and I'd gone through it yesterday and took some pics and he said that it has a good foundation so the kitchen floor will be no problem to fix, and he can fix the basement. YEAH!!! Oh, there's also a hole in the drywall in one of the bedrooms-no prob there either. On the flip side, cosmetically it looks great. Carpet is pretty new and in good shape, kitchen cupboards and fridge is new, everything in the bathroom is brand spanking new as in just installed-tub/shower, toilet and vanity. One of the bedrooms was recently remodled. There's a sauna and a hot tub outside too!!! I'd called down to the bank and she said if I wanted the loan-it's mine!!!! So I called him back yesterday and told him that I'd like to go through the house and look at it and have Ron take a look at the basement, floor and furnace, but if everything checks out ok that I'd buy it as is. He was pretty much floored and I told him to think about it and either call or email me or whatever. The guy that is ahead of me in line wants to buy it for his mother and is in the construction business also but wasn't planning on fixing everything until this spring and the owner was going to pay him to fix it and then sell it for the cost of the house plus the repairs. Hopefully it wall works out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Is the end in sight!?OMG! This year just keeps sucking my ass more and more! Around 1820 today I'm sitting at home and my phone rings. It came up as "unknown", well I normally don't answer it if I don't know who it is but today I thought maybe it was one of S's friends calling using a calling card since it's long distance to call us. I had to be at my sisters in about 10 min to watch my neice but I figured, ah, what the hell!? So I pick up the phone and its a guy w/ a deep voice asking for me?! WTF?! I'm thinking to myself. Well I pretended that I wasn't home because well, I was pressed for time and just didn't feel like having a conversation with anyone because I knew it'd make me late for sure. So I proceed to take a message down for myself and it's an investigator calling from a County Sheriff's Dept where I used to live!? He said that he'd "found" some of my personal possessions. HUH!? I was sooo confused. So I took his name and number down and said that I'd have "Sarah" call him back. Ok... so now my mind is working overtime.... What in the hell could this guy be calling me for?! He did ask if I still worked for the airlines.. Could it be that since they went under some of my stuff was left there and they want to return it to me? But why would an investigator be calling me?! Seemed odd. Then I thought about S's dad taking me back to court AGAIN but that didn't make any sense either. At this point I was baffled so when I got to my sister's house I called him back.
Nice guy, he was asking me about a certain person that was the manager of a hotel that I'd stayed at during my flight attendant training for the second airline. Hmmm... He wanted to know how long I'd stayed there. He said that they found quite a few things on me that had some very personal information. Asked me if I've done a credit check or have I had any identity theft issues. Again, WTF?! He said that they found some of my check stubs with my address and SSN on them! Wrappings (plastic?!) that my uniform shirts had come in. (What would someone want with that?!) He asked me if I knew someone that lives up here so I'm thinking maybe they have an address book of mine? A letter maybe? He said that I wont' get it back for about 2-3 months. Understandable. He said that there was so much stuff that it took him and his partner 3 hours to go through it and that wasn't even with a fine tooth comb. It was more of seperating it per person to try to figure out what they're dealing with.
He then asked me about the GM of the hotel and how I knew him etc... Well, I'd stayed at that hotel when I was in training which we've already established. I was in training from March/April 1998. That was almost 8 years ago!!! OMG! I'm supposed to remember what the hell I did 8 years ago?! It's hard enough for me to remember what I did yesterday let alone 8 freaking years ago! Ok, so after he explaines some of the things that are going on, I start explaining my story to him. After I was done with training and moved into a crash pad, I'd started seeing the GM. Things didn't work out so well at the crash pad so I ended up moving into the townhouse that he was living in w/ the 2 other people that worked for him at the hotel. I wasn't there very often considering that I was on reserve and was mostly working 5-6 days a week. Some days off I'd stay there and some I'd go back to MI to see my family. He found this interesting of course. I told him that I only dated him a couple of months and then I moved to Chicago when they opened up the base there and never really talked to him again. However, I did know that people still stayed at the hotel when they needed. The invest. guy told me that there was indeed a crash pad at the hotel and something about an email about paying up the $1400 bill but he didn't know who it was from or who it was to. I have no idea what that was about.
For those of you that are not familiar with what a crash pad is, it's a place that pilots and flight attendants use as a place to shower, sleep, etc. It's usually a house, apartment or hotel that a ton of people contribute to. For instance with the first airline, when we were in Chicago, we had 14-15 people sharing a 1 bedroom apartment. Yes people. I'm not even remotely kidding. It was horrendous!!! But I think that the most we ever had there was 8-9 people. It was wall to wall air mattresses. We did have a kitchen table, a TV that I think was sitting on milk crates. Yes it was interesting to say the least. The second time I lived in Chicago I stayed at a another crash pad only this one was a house that was owned by one of the pilots and we all had bunk beds. It was nice and homey. Very different from the first one.
Ok, so back to the story. Sorry about the tangent. So anyway I guess he just disappeared like June or July of this year. Just didn't show up anymore. Didn't call, didn't quit, no "dear John" letter. Nothing. I have no idea who found this stuff or where it was found. In his office?! In a room? Who knows?! So I guess they're going down the line of items they've found and they're calling people to see what, if anything they can find out. Interesting. The funny thing is that he always seemed like a nice guy. The Invest. guy asked me if he had any problems, drugs, alcohol etc.. I told him that GM had told me that when he was in college he used to drink a lot and he was drunk and took a handfull of Tylenol one night and it basically ruined his liver, so as a result I never saw him drink. EVer. He'd told me that he was on the transplant list. I did tell him that I had witnessed him on many occasions having Grand Mal seizures which scared the hell out of me since I'd never seen that happen to anyone before. Many times we brought him to the hospital or called an ambulance for him. But I never witnessed him drink or taking any drugs. He always seemed very careful to me. He also asked me about money, if he had any money issues. None that I know of. He always seemed to have money but then he was a GM of a hotel. He had a company car (Altima) etc... He was the type of guy that would buy me jewelry for no reason what so ever. I have a diamond and emerald bracelet, an emerald ring, a small diamond ring, maybe a quarter karat or so. Maybe a bit smaller. He was always surprising me with things like that and it was out of the blue. I'd never had anyone do things like that for me so I didn't know how to react. I still don't. I'm just not used to being treated that way.
Anyway, I'm frusterated. I dont' know what the hell is going on. I asked him if this is something I'm going to be subpena'd for and he said he didn't know, not at this time but who knows what they're going to find out. They have contacted his parents (his mom is an attorney and I cant' remember what his dad does but I do remember that they were friends with Miriam Berry (sp?) His brothers went to some good colleges in NE. One was going to be a Dr. Oh, and he'd asked me if he was every admitted to a psych insitution that I knew of?! Uh.... Besides his parents they contacted his ex wife but she wont' return his calls either. He thinks the GM possibly tried calling one day but then hung up as soon as he answered. No shit!? Sounds like the guys got something to hide to me!?
So this makes me wonder. Did he have some sort of strange fetish? Was he out sniffing my undies while I was flying? I mean, why do people do those sorts of things? I didn't ask the guy if he'd found any undergarments or anything but then again I really don't want to picture him jacking off to whatever it was that was turning him on. Only because now I'm just really weirded out. This was 8 years ago. I mean, I guess i've thought about him from time to time. Wondering if he was dead. Was he healthy? Was he still working at the hotel etc... I guess I have my answers. Like I told the guy, when they opened up Chicago I was gone. He'd gotten little weird one me. I mean, I had just turned 21 that July and was dating someone that had been married, 2 kids, divorced etc... The whole diamond ring thing really freaked me out I think. Just weird for someone you've only been dating a few months isn't it? Not only that but I'd wanted to break things off with him long before I went to Chicago but how do you do that to someone that's that ill? I mean, he was DYING!!! I hadnt' had children yet, he was snipped. That was another excuse I gave him. Whatever it is that he did, I only hope that I have nothing more to do with it. Like I told the guy, I can try to find out who was staying in the crash pad at the time that I worked there but I have no idea what went on between the time I left and now. I still have some connections with people that I worked with there and told him I'd try to help him in any way I can.
Ok, so WHY is it that I'm not a lesbian?! I mean, 8 years after dating someone I feel like I'm getting fucked in a not so plesent way. This just seems really weird to me. I can't seem to find a nice guy and my past just keeps haunting me. I thought that the first week of January was bad and things were easing up and now this?! I'm just baffled. Men! You can't live with them and you can't kill them! Sorry guys, you know I love ya but JC! When it is going to end?! AUGH!!! Calgon take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, January 13, 2006
WTF?! Applications accepted...I have tried posting my pic under my profile and just cannot figure out how to do it. Anyone out there that can walk me through it? You'd think by working in the computer world I could figure the fucking thing out!
So anyway... Considering that I do work on the net on a daily basis I get some of the best, raunchiest emails you've ever seen. I, of course, pass them on to all of my friends that I feel can handle them. This week's email forwards have been especially good!!! I grossed out many and feel that I've out done myself. :)
My friend, Nurse Pam, emailed a bunch of us the name of some cologne that she SWEARS will get any man laid and any woman melt. Ya right!!! I'm finding this hard to believe because let's face it, I'm picky and shallow in a way and there are some men that I just cannot bring myself to touch. So I told her to buy some for her hot guy friends and send them on my way. She wanted to know if I was serious so she decides that she's going to send them all an email w/ my email address. Well why not make them fill out a freakin application!? I mean, if you're going to send them an email about a single friend, field out the freaks please!!! I mean, I do have limits like I said. So jokingly I send her an email back telling them that they have to fill out an application before any emails will be answered. It must include but is not limited to-- height, weight, hair color, eye color, penis size--both length and girth, both are important. I mean, I don't want a crayon dick or a freaking pencil dick, shoe size just so we know they're not lying (ok not really but it sounds good), location, etc... Who the hell knows what else she's going to come up with or who she's going to send it to? Hahaha!!! I'm always looking for trouble but I have SO much fun doing it!!! I'll have to post the outcome of that. And for those of you who actually do visit me, since I can't post a pic under my profile, here I am---
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Damn it! Half Naked Thursday (early)
I just freaking wrote a new post only to have the damn thing disappear when I tried uploading a picture. Figures!
Well, I have nothing for you today except babble anyway so since it's Half Naked Thursday and Yoshi's feeling better, I'll just post a pic of him since he's naked anyway!
Ta ta for now
bitches!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Chopped Liver...That's how I feel. Like chopped liver. Thursday night I'd gotten a text message from radio guy stating that he wasn't sure if he was coming up or not, depended on how he felt. Well then I was chatting w/ B via MSN and she said that she'd gotten an email from him earlier in the day saying that he'd talked to Joel and he'd call when he got here. WTF?! Did I miss something? So of course, I got pissed. I can't go to MQT for the weekend so he's going to call her for a back up or what?! Well I sent him a message back that wasn't very nice. In my eyes, since they'd been together before, it just kind of said to me that he wanted to spend time with her if I wasn't available or whatever. Now I understand that they are friends and I would never say anything to either of them about that. That's just wrong. Just seemed weird to me that he'd stop at work to get her phone number off of an email and send her a note and not me. Yes, maybe I'm a bit jealous but who has he been emailing back and forth!? I mean, I hear from her and Joel that he's never acted like this, all the emailing back and forth etc... so I'm thinking (with all the reinforcements), wow he really likes me. Whatever. Why do I always fall for stupid shit from asshole men? He ended up calling and apparently I'd misunderstood everything. Well, I still dont' understand how I misunderstood why he'd tell me he didn't know if he was coming and then tell B that he'll call when he gets here. I admit that I probably overreacted but I was upset. He's very confusing and contradicts himself all the time. One time I'm down there and yes, it's new to both of us and it was kind of unforbidden, so we weren't sure what to do under the circumstances. The next few days were great. I mean, I came home and was happy and smiling. He was calling, emailing, telling me what a great time he had and wanted me to come back in a couple weeks when I had to pick S up. I get back down there and seriously considered leaving and staying w/ my mom. He was very distant. I'm not sure if it had something to do w/ the chick that was in town for a week or what. I know she ended up standing him up that Friday when he had plans for "fish and beer". Dumbass. Told me not to come till Sat because he had plans on Friday and then he gets stood up? Bet he felt dumb or like he missed out. That just should have showed me right there that I was #2. I should have known. I should have known from the get go that I'd always be #2. That's how my life goes. Why in the world would I have thought that it would have been any different with him? You know the sad thing? I really didn't know if I even felt that he was my "type". I mean, sure he has things that I look for in men. He's tall, nice, funny... I also know that he's been hurt. I ended up sending him a long email that night apoligizing for my actions on the phone and overreacting. I have no idea whether he's gotten it or not.
Last night I met B in Houghton. She was up there w/ hot cop and they were getting tattoos. Well he had to go to Calumet to drop off his daughter and left her there to get hers done and was coming back but she wanted me there in case he wasn't back in time. Well he was back before I got there. It was the first time I'd met him. He's very nice and VERY hot! They really makes sense together. I can see she's very happy and he also seems very happy. I'm glad for them. I really am. We left there and went to the Ambassador and met Michelle and Mark (after my 25 min phone call w/ asshole Dan.) Yes ladies and gentlemen, I got to be the 5th wheel again! Aren't I lucky!?
B has a gift for meeting men. She really does. Maybe I would too if I was single. I mean single like I used to be. Don't get me wrong, I would NEVER trade S for anything in my life. I love her with my whole heart and soul but there are things that she cannot give me that I need. I miss being held. I miss being told that I'm special. I miss so many things about having a companion in my life. JC, I dont' even get dates!!! The last date that I went on was in September and that was only because I met him online! I find myself asking why? Why don't I get dates? Why is no one interested in me? Why am I destined to be alone? Is it always going to be this way? I miss the days with D. Even though I knew he didn't feel the same exact way that I did, I knew that he loved me and I knew that I mattered to him. God I miss that! I am so sick and tired of being alone. Today for instance, it's Saturday and I have no child. Where am I? At home. Yep, alone. Ok, with Yoshi but he can't talk to me. Oh well, you know the few days that I did have thoughts of radio guy filling my mind, I was happy. It made me smile... What else can you do?
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Misc ramblings....Well I found out today at work that hot UPS guy that I was in love with is being deployed on Monday... I sent him a nice email today as we didn't talk much over the holidays w/ UPS being so busy and my last couple of weeks being so screwed up. It scares me to think of all of the "what if's" of him leaving. He's in charge of making sure the convoy's are secure so he'll be right in the middle of it instead of being in a "safe" place. Well, as safe as you can possibly be in the middle of a war zone. Then again, he's been active in the reserves for years so he knew it was inevitable.
After reading someone else's blog today a question arose. His posting was regarding a friend dating a woman of another race and his friends mother not agreeing with it at all and them not being on speaking terms as a result. Is it just me or is it "acceptable" not to date someone because of religious beliefs but not acceptable because of someone's race? What got me thinking about this is that when I was all excited about the hot UPS guys but realized that he cannot date outside of his religon, I thought that was ok and I do believe my reasoning was that I cannot argue w/ religous beliefs... So why is it that I find it ridiculous that someone would be discriminatory (is that a word?) against someone's race or color!? Isn't that a little backwards considering I was discriminated against because I wasn't Apostolic (and ok with it) but if I was dating someone who's family said he couldn't date me because I was white, or because I have dark hair or whatever, I'd be pissed!!! Is it because I value religion more so than race or color? Funny considering that I haven't attended chuch in God only knows how long!
Yoshi is doing good. I stopped to see him today. He's still on an IV but should be able to come home tomorrow as long as he keeps his food and water down. YEAH!!! S has decided that she wants to go to camp for the weekend w/ my parents. I told radio guy that if she left he could come here. I'm not really ready to introduce the two considering I have no clue what's up yet. I didn't talk to him last night but I did get a text saying that he wasn't sure if he was coming up or not since I have to stay home. I told him that if she's gone he's more than welcome to come here. I don't remember what the response to that was. I guess we'll wait and see. I did have a lot of fun with him but I also know he's very scarred and it's going to take a lot to heal the deep wounds that are left once the wall comes down.... Time will tell...
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Love & HateSo far, this new year sucks ass! No way of getting around that one. We left the bar early to do our thing NY's and lo and behold Mr radio guy hasn't had any in a while so needless to say it was short and nothing was sweet about it. DAMN IT! Drove home Sunday which was uneventful.
I took the day off on Monday to spend w/ S since she'd just come home after being gone for 2 weeks. I woke up to my cousin calling me around 9am telling me about a guy that was found dead (presumably of natural causes) on Sunday night by his girlfriend. He was 47 years old. He currently was working for the same company as my ex-boyfriend so I'd see him from time to time. He was an asshole to be honest. I'm very torn about this. His ex wife, new husband and his kids lived 2 houses down from me when I was a kid and I always played with the middle girl, J. She and I lost touch over the years but I finally ran into her again a couple of years ago. She's married and has a couple of kids and seems to be doing really well. The guy, M, moved away from the town I was living in and moved about an hour away from here. When I was younger he was engaged to my mom's friend and worked with my dad as a cop and then all I remember was not seeing him around anymore. What I would find out years later is that he raped my mom's friend that he was engaged to and/ or her friend. I'm not really sure what happened there but I do know that he raped someone and lost his job at the police dept. I don't think charges were ever pressed against him but yet I was too young to remember all of the details and it's something that you just don't bring up in everyday conversation. Another thing I would find out later is that he molested his own daughter, my friend J. I'm not sure when or for how long. I don't know the extent of it, all I know is that it's WRONG! What kind of sick fucker does that to his own kid? A poor precious little girl? Apparently what I would eventually find out is that I believe she confronted him and had many rough years. If I remember correctly she was institutionalized for a time. The sad thing is that many people do not know these things about him. Do I care that he's dead? No not really. It doesn't effect my life. The fucker can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned. I only hope that the people that he has hurt throughout his life may get some peace as a result of his death. I've thought about contacting J since hearing the news but I'm not sure if it's appropriate since I'm not sure what the status of their relationship was. She is listed in his obit, yet I'm torn as to what to do. I figure maybe I'll just go and pay my respects to his family. His mom certainly is a precious woman. She just lost her second husband a year or so ago.
Radio guy called last night. He actually text'd me yesterday morning early, must have just opened his eyes and thought about me! HA HA HA! He was hung over after partying all day long before, during and after the Packer game. I'm glad that he had a good time. He's off for like 10 days so he's happier than a pig in shit right now to be able to do what he'd like to do. Anyway, so he called last night and I decided to pick his brain. I admitted to him that the way he acted towards me when I first go there on Sat really bothered me. He was very cold towards me and I'm not used to that. This is someone that I'd just seen 2 weeks ago, was mildly intimate with and he's treating me like a friend. WTF!? Ok so whatever. His attitude really didn't get any better during the hockey game and I'd actually really considered leaving and staying w/ my mom and ML at the hotel. I think I wrote about all of this yesterday. Anyway, he apoligized and said that he didn't mean to act like that or make me feel the way that I did. After much thinking I realized that he must have been majorly hurt and he's scared to death. Let's face it, the majority of us have been there at one point or another. He finally admitted that to me and I told him that I understood he was in the "I like her but don't want to stage". I also told him that life is all about chances and if we don't them, then what kind of life are we living? Blah blah blah. I picked his brain and made him understand that I do know and understand where he is coming from and what he's thinking. He asked me how much he owed me for his session. Maybe he needed it? Who knows!?
Today was a day from hell. Pure hell! I woke up to my sister calling around 130a. Her year old daughter has the flu and was ralphing all over the place and she was panicking. In my hazy stage I tried talking sense into her and taking her to the Dr/ER was not going to do much good. I called her this morning and Ava is now good but Kelley got her flu! Ha! Isn't that always how it happens? About a half hour after I hung up w/ her last night, Yoshi started puking his guts out all over again. Poor little guy. He'd been eating so I thought he was feeling a bit better. Guess not. That went on every hour from 130-2am till I woke up to go to work. Ya, roughly 7am. Nice. He puked a few times after I got up for work. I'm telling you, I'm not used to getting 2 people ready in the am anymore! But I did it! I was in the kitchen at one point in time and trying to hurry. Well, I'd just plugged in my brand new cell phone and tripped over the cord. Yes I bent it. How in the hell do you bend a freaking flip phone!? I dont know but somehow I managed to dot it! It still works so I can't complain there I guess. Stopped home for lunch and to check on Yoshi and he was lathargic. He came up to me and I held him but then he backed himself into a corner and let out a moan. I felt so bad for the little guy. He then proceeded to puke his guts out again. After all was said and done I picked him up and gently flipped him on his back and rubbed his belly. He didn't even attempt to bite me so I knew it was time to bring him into the vet. I know what his problem is--- he's obsessed w/ eating the fake needles on the tree (which came down Sunday shortly after I got home). Anyway, brought him in and he's still there. He was dehydrated so they had to pump him full of fluids and then do x-rays, which didn't show much of anything. She siad that he has feces and food in him so they gave him a bit of mineral oil to try getting that stuff to slide on outta there, which hopefully will make room for the suspected fake tree needles to come out afterwards. If not, they'll have to do surgery and remove it from his intestine. Hopefully the mineral oil does the trick and she wont' need to surgically remove anything. I'll call and check on him in the morning. Hopefully he's resting nicely down there. S is quite upset.
Opened up the local newspaper online while I was at work today and saw that a woman that I'd gone to training with at the first airline passed away shortly before NY's in Denver. Shocker! She was only 52, although we all knew she liked to drink. Her obit said in lieu of flowers to donate to the American Heart Assn so I'm assuming heart disease? Either way it's kind of sad and I thought it was unexpected. I emailed the people that I was still in touch w/ from that airline in case they didn't know. Also left my condolences.
Speaking of airlines, did I write last night that D's airline is closing it's doors? The last flight is on Thursday. I forsee doling out a lot of money that I don't have for plane tickets to get S back and forth and also for driving to Chicago and back. AUGH! WHAT ELSE!? What a mess. More on that later I'm sure!
Time for bed. I can't keep my peepers open.
Monday, January 02, 2006
New YearsWell things didn't go exactly as I expected them too. Radio guy was not in the best of moods which irritated me. I mean, I go down there to see him and it was almost like he was bothered by it, which I called him on and he said that was very far from the truth and that he wanted me there. His attitude did get better as the night went on thank God! I ended up getting a call from D and he felt more comfortable bringing S back on Sunday rather than Monday so I didn't get to go to the Packer game, which kind of sucks since they won! Oh well, I'm sure there will be other games that I can go to. It's nice to have S home. I missed her little butt! I'd take spending time w/ her over any Packer game anyway. She's been gone for 2 weeks. Anyway, NY's was not what I expected it to be. It was nice getting out of town. We went to the hockey game and then to Anduzzi's and then to Diamonds and Spurs. That place is actually kind of fun. Radio guy couldn't drink while his station was broadcasting the count down but there was nothing stopping me!!! :) Hahaha! Actually we ended up leaving early. Before 2am, which was ok w/ me since I had a long drive to get her and then home.
No clue what to even think about radio guy. There are times I get email from him and there is so much emotion. The things that they do for people over the radio, they had 12 days of xmas where they made people's xmas dreams come true. He was very emotional over that. Watching the effect that he and H had on people. But it seems to be that he's never that way around me. He has no emotion over anything, unless he's upset or has road rage, which of course I call him on! I dont' know. I just can't be with someone who is "cold" towards me. I mean, he tells me that he's glad I'm there and that when he comes up to MQT next week that he wants to see me etc but I don't really know how to explain it. He's just non-emotional about anything. Maybe it's because I need hugs and stuff. Who knows? I can't force myself on him and I'm not going to. Hell, after this weekend I kind of look at him differently. I guess we'll see. I figure I'll let him contact me. He actually sent me a text message this morning before 8am, which was nice 'cause at least I know he's thinking about me. Again, time will tell. Until then, I'm keeping all of my options open!
