Just Another Bend In Journey of Life
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Life & DeathWell it's certainly been a day...
My Grandpa (mom's dad) was sick last weekend, having a hard time breathing. He only has a lung and 1/3 from a bout with cancer many years ago. He worked in the local mines for most of his life. My Aunt brought him to the walk in clinic and released him. Normally this is a very scary thing for us considering he's 85 years old and end up with pneumonia every year. But they released him and sent him on his way home. I've called a few times but haven't been up to see him yet. Apparently yesterday he'd gotten the results from the x-rays and tests that they did and he has emphysema and bronchitis. I was SO excited that it wasn't cancer! I sent my mom a message via the net and told her what was going on. She buzzed me this morning asking if I'd stopped there yesterday or if I'd called him, which I hadn't. She wanted to know how he was taking the news. I told her I assumed he was relieved that it wasn't cancer. She explained to me that it's chronic bronchitis that he has... That, accompanied with the emphysema isn't a good thing. It's called COPD and it's normally fatal. "COPD is a major cause of death and illness, and it is the fourth leading cause of death in the United States and throughout the world. There is no cure for COPD. The damage to your airways and lungs cannot be reversed."
Wonderfuckingful!
He usually ends up in the hospital with pnemonia every November right around Thanksgiving. Apparently COPD will make the rest of his organs work harder eventually over time. The thing is that he's so frail right now he just cannot afford to have that happen. He's lost 20 lbs in about 2 weeks and now weighs a whopping 132 pounds. He has stomach issues as well but weight loss is a side effect of COPD.
I just cannot imagine losing him. He's ALWAYS been there for me. ALWAYS. He's a tough ol bugger too. He'll fight unti the end....
I already watched one Grandpa slowly die this year, why do I have to go through this again? Why can't he just go peacefully in his sleep?
I just pray that he doesn't deteriorate fast. I hope that he takes care of himself and holds on as much and as long as he can.
This fucking sucks.
I think I have a case on PMS coming on because I am WAY emotional. Then again, I do have a lot going on in my life...
I watched The Notebook again tonight. My eyeballs still hurt from crying. I want love like that. Can you imagine? I can't. I just cannot imagine someone loving me like that. Looking at me like he looked at her.
That's why I hate movies, especially chick flicks. That shit doesn't happen in real life! :) Well, at least not in mine and not in many people that I know.
Maybe one day I'll find it. Until then, I won't give up hope!!! :)
Damn chick flicks!!!
